Dragon Age Pymquisition
by alienyouthct
Summary: Cassandra Pentaghast thought things were complicated enough when a Dalish elf was marked as the Herald of Andraste. Then Janet Pym opened her mouth and started speaking.
1. Chapter 1

Title: _Dragon Age Pymquisition  
_ Author: JoeHundredaire  
Rating: R/FR18  
Disclaimer: BioWare owns the entire _Dragon Age_ saga, its characters, its worlds, and all related concepts. With a myriad of writers, artists, and editors, actual rights are a nightmare when you go near a comic book universe. Suffice it to say that Marvel Entertainment LLC owns all of the property printed in their comics, along with the television, movie, and gaming adaptations of said same property. Not mine, don't sue, and so forth and so on.  
Summary: Cassandra Pentaghast thought things were complicated enough when a Dalish elf was marked as the Herald of Andraste. Then Janet Pym opened her mouth and started speaking.  
Joe's Note: If any of you have played _Avengers Academy_ on iOS or Android, the version of Wasp from the game is... hysterical and frightening in equal measures. She actually seems to be on the cusp of embodying the Hollywood Psychopath: capriciously shifting between utterly charming - if a bit excitable - and almost shockingly violent. So when I decided to do a crackfic based on the premise of a Pym Particle user in the world of the _Dragon Age_ games, I honestly couldn't think of anyone better suited to serve as the main character than that particular version of Janet. Except for maybe Eric O'Grady, but I don't think he's ever had a single fan in the history of ever.  
Dedications & Thanks: To Nicholas, Alexander, Howard, Alonsis2, MJ, Christopher, Daniel, Brian, Crusifikz70, Rollin, Chris N, Fablesrogue, Morgan, Janne, Joseph, Jason, mpop, Riley, bloodylord, Luke, Zachary, Marc, Ziryo, Elliot, Timothy, Leigh, Chris, George, Koby, Dimitria, William, Mauday, Stephane, Ken, Warslick, Paul, Pat, Mitch, Joel, Warren, and Jess for sponsoring me on , and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.

* * *

"You seriously expect me to kill that thing... with a bow? Or a pair of daggers? Are you out of your mind?"

Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena Pentaghast let out an exasperated groan as she glanced from the pride demon to her capricious new companion and back. From the moment that she'd laid eyes on one Janet Pym, the Seeker's entire world had been turned upside down. In the bowels of Haven, the sole survivor of the attack on the Conclave had... twisted in on herself like a terror demon, slipping out of her irons and taking out every last guard in the room with blasts of yellow energy that emerged from her bare hands. If not for the conveniently-timed pulse of energy and debilitating pain from the mark that now graced her palm, chances were that even Cassandra and Leliana would have fallen at her hands.

They'd hurriedly forced the woman back into restraints that Janet had promptly escaped once more as soon as she recovered. At that point, Cassandra had been forced to concede that perhaps Leliana's preferred approach might have merit... mostly because they were utterly unprepared to hold whoever or whatever the woman was. And indeed, the woman had responded better to honey than vinegar; once they'd gotten her talking, it'd been impossible to shut her up.

Her name was Janet Pym - although she also answered to the pseudonym 'Wasp' - and despite looking very much like a Dalish elf, she claimed to be a human. Not born of any of the nations of Thedas, or the Sunless Lands, or the Viridis, or even from across one of the oceans or seas that surrounded Thedas. No, she claimed to be from an alternate universe - not to be confused, Janet asserted, with an alternate reality - where humans lived on a planet called 'Earth', which had been very well charted and looked nothing at all like the maps they'd shown her of Thedas.

Cassandra was still having trouble wrapping her mind around the very concept. She'd known that there were things beyond the physical realm; the Fade was very real and most definitely populated. But to discover that there were entirely mundane realms beyond that, entire worlds full of people who went about their lives just the way the residents of Thedas did... it was incredible. Unbelievable. And yet ultimately true. Because one of those people now walked among them.

Although she wouldn't be walking among them for long if Cassandra couldn't rally her forces and defeat the pride demon that had emerged from the Fade rift in the Temple of Sacred Ashes. "You acquitted yourself admirably with that bow on the journey here, Janet. The daggers... slightly less so, but your form is serviceable. Yes, a pride demon is larger than anything we've faced thus far, but I'm confident that if we work together-"

"I'm not saying that we can't beat this ugly bastard. I just don't think that the tools you've given me are up to the job." Janet gave the bow in her hands one last look before throwing it off to one side, shrugging off her quiver and tossing it aside as well. Then she began to disrobe, wriggling out of first her tunic and then the layer of protective chainmail beneath it, revealing a black and yellow garment that Cassandra found more provocative than what the women gracing the cover of _Swords and Shields_ wore, despite the fact that it covered Janet completely. "Hey, Solas, quick question for you. Does this world have a spell that can make people bigger?"

Brow furrowing, Solas shot an unreadable look back at Janet before returning his attention to the demon standing before them. "I've traveled many roads in my time but I can't say that I've never heard of such a thing. Which isn't to say that it may not exist, but if you were hoping that I could provide the same support as another mage that you've worked with in the past, I'm afraid that-"

Janet shook her head before rubbing her hands together, her chuckle sounding distinctly nervous to Cassandra's ears. "Oh, I don't need you to cast a spell on me. I was just curious how much this is going to freak you guys the fuck out." Taking a deep breath to steel herself, she reached up and fiddled with the strange necklace she'd demanded they return to her before leaving Haven: a torc made of some unknown black material with a rotating cup mounted on each end. "Hey Siri, play some music to kick ass to."

'Siri' turned out to be some sort of spirit that had been bound into the necklace, perhaps a Spirit of Purpose or Duty? A spirit blessed with the incredible ability to mimic the collective sound of an entire group of musicians, it turned out. "Okay. Playing Some Music To Kick Ass To."

"Thank God I was wearing my Flips when I got pulled here; every epic fight needs a killer soundtrack." Janet bounced lightly on her toes as some sort of odd chanting over an even odder accompaniment began wafting from the cups on her necklace before taking a step forward and... growing. While Cassandra hadn't forgotten about the way the woman could fold in on herself to escape her bonds on demand, she hadn't expected it to work the opposite way as well. With each step she took, Janet's form stretched taller and taller until she was easily the height of three grown men and then some. "Hey, Ugly! Pick on someone your own size!"

 _'I'm living in that twenty-first century, doing something mean to it, do it better than anybody you ever seen do it...'_

Thundering forward, Janet landed a solid right hook on the dumbfounded pride demon before following up with a left cross. When the demon attempted to counter with a clumsy swipe of its own, Janet nimbly slipped under its arm before delivering a pair of lightning fast kicks to the backs of her foe's knees, sending it staggering forward. Not too far forward, though; Janet quickly grabbed it from behind before twisting and pulling the demon across her hip as she threw it down onto the ground. Then Cassandra's view of the action was cut off by an onrushing shade... that suddenly sprouted a crossbow bolt in the middle of its head. It crumpled to the ground to reveal a smirking Varric. "And you thought I had some tall tales, eh, Seeker?"

 _'Screams from the haters, got a nice ring to it, I guess every superhero need his theme music...'_

"Ugh." For a man who occasionally demonstrated striking talent with a quill, Cassandra mused, Varric made some of the worst jokes. Pointedly looking away from the grinning dwarf, she surveyed the battlefield and nodded in satisfaction as her archers continued to pick off the lesser shades that occasionally emerged from the rift. Then her eyes landed on Janet and Cassandra found herself wincing in sympathy... for the pride demon.

 _'No one man should have all that power; the clock's ticking, I just count the hours. Stop tripping, I'm tripping off the power...'_

In the service of the Seekers of Truth, Cassandra had both witnessed and participated in a great many battles over her years of life. Her duties had seen her confront qunari, mages, demons, abominations, and even a handful of rogue templars. But never before had she witnessed someone engage a demon in hand-to-hand combat... and win. Brackish blood oozed from cracks in the demon's armor as it lay on its back, Janet straddling its chest as she rained blow after blow down on its increasingly deformed face. "Kanye may have terrible taste in sunglasses but his music is really fun to punch your enemies to."

 _'The system broken, the school is closed, the prison's open. We ain't got nothing to lose, motherfucker we rolling. Huh? Motherfucker we rolling...'_

Exchanging uncertain looks with Solas, Cassandra cleared her throat before calling out to the oversized woman as she continued to pound away merrily at the pride demon's face. "I do believe he's dead, Janet. Very, very dead. Perhaps now would be a good time to turn your attention to the rift that only you can close?" After landing one last punch, Janet shot a distinctly unamused look down at Cassandra for what was admittedly a passive-aggressive comment before clambering to her feet... and then stomped down hard on the demon's head, causing it to rupture like an overripe melon.

 _'With some light-skinned girls and some Kelly Rowlands, in this white man world, we the ones goodnight, cruel world, I'll see you in the morning. Huh? I'll see you in the morning...'_

As Cassandra fought the urge to vomit - a battle that Varric and several nearby soldiers lost - Janet scrunched up her brow in concentration. Her body folded in on itself in a similar fashion to the way it had in Haven's dungeon, quickly returning to its normal - thoroughly unimposing - height. "Got any other tactical tips for me, Cass?" Bristling at the mocking tone in the woman's voice, Cassandra opened her mouth to respond only to pause as her eyes landed on the decimated corpse of the pride demon. Perhaps, she conceded, it would be best to hold her tongue. This time. "You sure? I mean, I'm all for taking suggestions. Although maybe I should be a little more careful about whose suggestions I take. Like, I remember this one time where I ended up breaking the wrong guy's kneecaps. Boy was that embarrassing. I ended up having to go break the right person's kneecaps, and then the kneecaps of the person who pointed me in the wrong direction in the first place..."

 _'This is way too much, I need a moment...'_


	2. Chapter 2

Joe's Note: As noted in the first chapter, this project is solely based off the versions of characters found in TinyCo's _Avengers Academy_ game. Which means that in addition to Janet being borderline psychopathic with a fondness for random acts of violence against those who offend her? And quite possibly some people who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time? Lady Loki has a very different origin from Earth-616. Specifically, she comes into being because Loki wanted to be included in the girl-only happenings on campus, particularly the all-female A-Force event that occurred during this past winter. Coincidently, that was the event that introduced the Dalish-influenced Archer Janet costume that inspired this story. Why am I mentioning any or all of this? Well, it's about to get really relevant to the story...  
Dedications & Thanks: To Nicholas, Howard, Samuel, Dale, Alexander, Tibor, Alonsis2, MJ, Daniel, Christopher, Stephen, Crusifikz70, Chris, Fablesrogue, Morgan, Janne, Joseph, Jason, mpop, RileyWestfall, bloodylord, Zachary, Marc, Ziryo, Timothy, Leigh, Chris, George, Koby, Dimitria, William, Frank, Mitch, Mauday, Stephane, Ken, Warslick, Paul, Pat, Edward, Elliot, Roman, Joel, Warren, Jess, and mikel for sponsoring me on , and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.

* * *

"Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just. Blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow. In their blood, the Maker's will is written. Is that what you want from us? Blood? To die so that your will is done? Is death your only blessing?" Movement in the corner of her eye made Leliana straighten up slowly, taking a moment to compose her thoughts before peering over at the interloper curiously. "You speak for Andraste, no? What does the Maker's prophet have to say about all of this? What's His game?"

Janet tilted her head to one side, her brow furrowing as she stared down at Leliana contemplatively. The expression drew the lay sister's attention up to the overly simplistic - and utterly unfamiliar - vallaslin pattern that graced the elf's forehead. Given that she purported to be from another universe where elves were naught by fiction, it shouldn't have surprised Leliana that the human-turned-elf's markings didn't follow the known patterns of Thedas's elves. "We'll get back to that 'speaking for Andraste' thing in a moment, but first I've gotta know... how the hell is this a game?"

Meeting Janet's gaze, Leliana stretched one arm out in the direction of the Breach. "Do you see the sky? What about the temple ruins, the bones lying in the dust? Even if you didn't support the Divine's peace, you wouldn't call this right." She let her arm fall back to her side as she slumped, shaking her head despondently. "So many innocent lives, the faithful murdered where the holiest of holies once stood. If the Maker willed this, what is it if not a game or a cruel joke?"

"Okay, that's definitely a fair question." Janet made her way over to sit on the bundle of pelts that Leliana was kneeling in front of, carefully crossing one leg over the other and bumping her foot against Leliana's arm. When the woman looked back up at her, Janet offered a helpless shrug. "Thing is, I don't speak for the Maker or anyone but myself. Never have. Well, except for back when I was on the Debate Team. Totally different situation, though. Where I was trying to go with that, though, is that I'm not your Maker's prophet and so I have no answers for you."

Leliana slowly rose to her feet, stretching to work the kinks out of her arms and legs before offering Janet a hand up as well. For someone who fought as well - and hit as hard - as the elf did, she was surprisingly light. "You said 'your' Maker. You don't worship him, do you?" Janet shook her head rapidly, making Leliana scoff. "You're lucky; he asks a lot. The Chantry teaches that the Maker abandoned us. He demands repentance for our sins. He demands it all: our lives, our deaths. Justinia gave Him everything she had, and He let her die."

Much to her surprise, Janet lunged forward and wrapped her arms around Leliana, pulling the taller woman into a tight hug. The lay sister found herself inordinately grateful that they'd talked Janet into wearing something a bit more appropriate than the garment she'd fought the pride demon in; Janet's body was rather exquisitely feminine and Leliana had been apart from Lady Surana for far too long. Pulling away, Janet took Leliana's hands in her own as she stared up at the redhead. "Just putting this out here, but maybe you should be angry at the people who murdered her. Maybe even murder them back?"

"If the Maker doesn't intervene to save the best of His servants, what good is He? I used to believe I was chosen, just as some say you are." Gently removing her hands from Janet's, Leliana shook her head before turning away from the sympathetic-looking elf. "I thought I was fulfilling His purpose for me, working with the Divine, helping people. But now she's dead. It was all for nothing. Serving the Maker meant nothing."

Again Leliana found her hand in Janet's possession as the elf tugged on it gently, guiding Leliana out of the tent that she'd been praying in. "Well if you're having a crisis of faith, I was about to go talk to a few gods I know. Maybe you'll take a liking to one of them?" Unable to keep her surprise from showing on her face, Leliana stared at Janet's back with wide eyes as the elf pulled her along. "Just kidding, they're not actual gods. They're just really, really powerful beings from another world that the humans on Earth used to worship back in the day. Except for Amora. Nobody worshipped her. Probably because she's too bitchy to attract any worshippers. And basic. So, so basic."

The explanation... actually only left Leliana with more questions. Beings from another world beyond the one that Janet lived on? They were in contact with other worlds? How? How many worlds were there? How did one travel between worlds, if these beings were coming to Earth and influencing its people? What did basic mean in that particular context? All those things and more swirled through the lay sister's head as Janet led her through the camp, out the western gate, and off into the woods. They quickly left the well traveled paths behind, delving deeper into the forest than Leliana had ever personally dared. Eventually, Haven grew so distant that Leliana found herself wondering... "Are we actually going to meet anyone, or do you mean to kill me where it's less likely that someone will stumble over the body?"

Janet stumbled to a stop, whirling around to stare at Leliana in disbelief. "You think I'm... no! God! If I was going to kill you, I'd just do it. Probably in the middle of Haven to serve as a warning to anyone else thinking of crossing me." Oh. Well that was... reassuring? "No, I wanted to put some distance between us and the masses because I don't want them freaking out over... Heimdall! Can you hear me? I don't know if I can leave this world because of this stupid mark on my hand, but can you send someone down to talk to me?"

Silence descended on the clearing that they'd stopped in, broken only by the calls of distant birds. Just as Leliana was ready to write the whole thing off as a terrible joke born of a strange sense of humor, a pillar of coruscating rainbow light stabbed downward out of the sky, slamming into the ground in front of them. The snow quickly melted to reveal naked earth that began to smolder, the pillar burning a strange and almost dwarven-looking pattern into the ground. Then a pulse of energy raced downward through the pillar, slamming into the ground and kicking up enough dust to thoroughly obscure the clearing. The pillar of rainbow light abruptly dispersed, allowing the dust to slowly settle, and then they were no longer alone in the clearing. "Bug Woman. And here I'd thought that I was finally rid of you."

The newcomers were... imposing was the most polite term that Leliana could think of. Not on the scale of qunari, who were positively massive, but she was reasonably certain that both Cullen Rutherford and Cassandra would have to look up to meet either woman's eyes. The one who had greeted Janet - if one wanted to call it that - had pitch black hair, piercing green eyes, and was adorned in a mixture of black and green leather accented with gold, a brown fur cape resting on her shoulders. Her eyes were cool and calculating, but with a hint of mischief to them as she looked Leliana up and down slowly. It was as if someone had married Morrigan's aura of barely restrained power with Isabela's penchant for mischief and mayhem, and wasn't that an entirely terrifying thought?

Her companion also reminded Leliana of Morrigan but for a completely different reason. If the dark-haired woman was Morrigan's power, the blonde standing beside her was Morrigan's personality. Actually, she possessed Morrigan's power as well; perhaps it was more accurate to say that she was a taller, blonde Morrigan with slightly more conservative taste in clothing? Slightly because while the blonde's outfit covered more than Morrigan's preferred attire, the green, black, and gold outfit still revealed significant amounts of cleavage, midriff, and leg. It served to highlight that both of the new arrivals were voluptuous to a degree that left Leliana in an awkward position: she honestly couldn't decide if she wanted to be one of them or be with one of them. Or both, perhaps.

No! She had Neria!

Who was halfway across Thedas on a long-term mission, making it doubtful that she would ever find out about any illicit liaisons that Leliana might indulge in. And judging by the knowing look on the dark-haired woman's face, she was likely amenable...

No!

"Loki!" Janet dashed forward, launching herself at the dark-haired woman and wrapping her legs around the woman's waist as she hugged her tight. "Ohmigod! I wasn't expecting you but now that you're here, we're going to have so much fun. Wait until you see some of the fashions here in Thedas, you're going to love them. And the dancing... I've been by the pub and it's awful. You have so much to show them."

Loki arched an eyebrow at that before turning her attention to Leliana, looking the lay sister up and down thoughtfully. "So that's your plan, then? A combination of appealing to my better nature and bribery to convince me to assist you with whatever insane plot you're currently involved in? It's not a bad idea, honestly, but if your friend there is an example of what the people around here dress like, I can't say that I'm terribly interested."

Dropping back to her feet in front of Loki, Janet kept one arm around the taller woman's waist as she looked from Loki to Leliana and back. "What, her? Pfft, she's with the Chantry. And if you think that's bad, wait until you see what the mothers and grand clerics wear. No, I've been doing a lot of reading when I'm not busy killing demons and sealing rifts for these guys. How would you feel about combining your Frost Giant Pride phase with your Mistress of Mischief phase? Because if you're interested, let me tell you about these people called the qunari..."

"Why waste time talking?" Bringing a hand wreathed in eldritch energy up to cup Janet's face, Loki's eyes began to glow with the same power as she locked gazes with the elf. After a few seconds, she pulled away from Janet and began to... change... her body growing even taller as her skin took on a blue cast. The horned, golden headdress that Loki had been wearing when she arrived melted away, making way for a pair of dusky qunari horns adorned by gold decorations. "Oh you're right, Bug Woman. I like this. I like this a lot. You're still going to owe me an outfit for this form, though."

Before Leliana could process any of what she'd just witnessed - that Loki had magic that could tear memories out of a person's head, that she could shapeshift, that she was quite probably a member of a completely unknown species given Janet's statements, that her people had some sort of teleportation magic capable of bridging the gap between wherever Janet came from and Thedas - the hitherto silent blonde finally spoke. "Ahem. What about me?"

Given that Janet had been almost unfailingly bubbly and friendly to everyone that Leliana had introduced her to - Chancellor Roderick being a noteworthy exception - the lay sister found the look that the elf shot Loki's companion to be uncharacteristically cold. "What about you? I still don't like you and you don't like me. Why are you even here?"

"Well I wasn't going to let Loki come help you alone."

"Why not?"

"Because adventures mean new outfits and I also like free clothes? And yours are generally satisfactory?"

"I don't care what you say, Amora, that's still not actually a compliment."

If this was how gods - or beings capable of passing as gods - behaved, Leliana mused, perhaps she should be considering atheism rather than a conversion...


	3. Chapter 3

Joe's Note: While Loki's portrayal in this story was remarkably easy to settle on, I had a far harder time figuring out what I was going to do with Amora. Mostly because... well, human mages are a normal if not wholly socially acceptable thing in Thedas. Amora hates blending in. Even being an obvious apostate or open blood mage would be too pedestrian for her tastes; she would hate being just one in a crowd even if it's a small-ish crowd. So I was poking around through the _World of Thedas_ books and stumbled over something fascinating: Flemeth and Morrigan weren't the only Witches of the Wilds, nor are they exclusive to the Korcari Wilds. There are Witches of the Wilds scattered all over Thedas, lurking at the edges of civilization. And in that instant, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with the Enchantress...  
Dedications & Thanks: To Nicholas, Howard, Samuel, Dale, Alexander, Tibor, Alonsis2, MJ, Daniel, Christopher, Stephen, Crusifikz70, Chris, Fablesrogue, Morgan, Janne, Joseph, Jason, mpop, RileyWestfall, bloodylord, Zachary, Marc, Ziryo, Timothy, Leigh, Chris, George, Koby, Dimitria, William, Frank, Mitch, Mauday, Stephane, Ken, Warslick, Paul, Pat, Edward, Elliot, Roman, Joel, Warren, Jess, and mikel for sponsoring me on , and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.

* * *

"Having the Herald address the clerics is not a terrible idea."

"You can't be serious."

"With all due respect... it is quite possibly the worst idea I have heard in quite some time. Have you actually met the Herald, Josephine? Spent any time talking to her?"

Josephine ducked her head, staring pointedly down at her clipboard in an attempt to hide the grimace that Cassandra's question elicited. She had in fact met the Herald when Janet had invaded her office like a whirlwind, poking and prodding at everything while talking a mile a minute. "Yes, and while she's a bit... rough around the edges, shall we say? That does nothing to change the fact that Mother Giselle isn't wrong, Cullen: at the moment, the Chantry's only strength is that they are united in opinion. Undermine that, sow doubt and dissent... and that united front will crumble. From there, we can pick them off one by one until we've swayed enough clerics to our cause that the remainder will approach us."

Clearing her throat, Leliana waited until she was sure that she had both of the advisors' attention before wading into their disagreement. "A small part of me feels like this plan would present an unacceptable degree of risk to the Herald. The rest of me is uncertain that even a dragon would pose a threat to Janet's health and safety at this point."

A troublesome but wholly valid point, Josephine was reluctantly willing to admit to herself. Because for all that she and Leliana and Cullen and even Cassandra wanted to portray themselves as valuable, even vital to the continuing success of the nascent Inquisition and her Inquisitor? They were all uncomfortably aware that the woman they'd declared Inquisitor Pym was in a class of her own, capable of single-handedly vanquishing demons that had previously taken small armies to defeating. And she kept the company of beings even more powerful than she was.

While Janet was quite emphatic about the fact that the pair weren't really gods - and Loki even more so when it came to Amora - it was hard for Josephine to take the women at their word. Especially given the way Loki had swept through Haven when she first arrived with the Inquisitor, hunting down and driving out the Dread Wolf himself. Evidently as the resident Trickster Goddess of her own pantheon, Loki saw Fen'Harel as a competitor of sorts and felt the need to establish her dominance, sending 'Solas' fleeing the encampment with a mixture of spells and cutting words. If she could engage and soundly beat the very being who was purported to have sealed away the Creators and the Forgotten Ones of Dalish lore... what did that make Loki, if not a goddess herself?

And then there was Amora. While marginally less powerful than Loki, it did little to make the 'Enchantress' less formidable in Josephine's eyes. While Loki found it amusing to assume the form of a Qunari tamassran while she assisted the Inquisition, a decision that Josephine was certain would have political ramifications down the road that she'd be stuck dealing with? Amora had taken to imitating the infamous Witches of the Wilds, declaring the infamous apostate shapeshifters to be 'quaint' and 'adorable' but also 'very much her kind of people'. If the purportedly immortal Flemeth and her ilk were what Amora found amusing... was there anything in Thedas capable of presenting a genuine threat to the blonde? Much less Loki?

"Just out of curiosity, are any of you familiar with the term 'operational security'?" Breezing into the room with the subjects of Josephine's thoughts trailing behind her, Janet came to a stop on the opposite side of the war table with her hands on her hips. "I mean, granted the only reason that I know it is from listening to Steve and watching war movies... but still! If this is what all of your meeting are going to be like, we seriously need to look into getting this place soundproofed. Enemy spies won't even need to eavesdrop; they'll be able to listen in from out near Threnn's fire."

Wilting under Janet's accusing look, the suitably chastised advisors each murmured some sort of apology for their behavior, Josephine intentionally going last in hopes of taking control of the conversation and redirecting it back to the matter at hand. "While we may have gotten a bit... vocal... in defense of our positions, Inquisitor, the fact remains that we have been handed an incredible opportunity that should not be ignored. Especially given that - as Leliana noted - the risk to you is minimal."

Janet's brow furrowed in thought as she stared down at the map spread out across the war table, her fingers idly tracing swirling patterns across the Empire of Orlais as she thought. "Personally? I don't think I should be talking to anyone. I've only been here a few days and I've spent most of that time putting out fires around Haven and the Hinterlands. I know absolutely nothing about this Chantry of yours, why I should care about it, or what the right things to say to these clerics would be. But..." Looking up, Janet raised a hand to forestall Josephine as the Antivan opened her mouth. "But I'm also not an idiot. No matter what Amora and Loki seem to think sometimes. We're strangers in a strange land right now... your land. And if you say this is important? Then it's important."

A far more measured and sensible response than Josephine had - perhaps unkindly - expected from their capricious Inquisitor. She didn't know what she needed to, but she was willing to learn and - most importantly - bow to their expertise for the time being. Given that neither Janet nor her companions seemed adverse to reading, and all three were in fact capable of devouring large amounts of material in a short period of time while retaining the majority of what they read? Perhaps she should offer to- "I still object. Going on this fool's errand just lends credence to the idea that we should care what the Chantry says. We should be focusing on bolstering our forces."

Oh, for fuck's sake, Cullen.

Thankfully, Cassandra was there to support Josephine as a voice of measured reason in favor of heeding Mother Giselle's words. "Which is why we must go to Val Royeaux and attempt to appease our critics. We will soon exhaust our supply of willing recruits in this area, forcing us to expand our sphere of influence if we wish to continue growing. Each cleric that the Inquisitor can sway to our cause will give us access to new faithful to recruit from." As Cullen took a moment to digest that, a thoughtful look on his face, the Seeker turned to Leliana to address her concerns. "Loki and Amora will come along as protection. I will go with her as an advisor. While we are gone, do what you can from here in Haven to help us. Mother Giselle said that she could provide us names. Acquire them and begin reaching out to her contacts on our behalf."

"If it's all the same to you, Cassandra, I feel that Varric would make a far more suitable traveling companion to Val Royeaux than I." Amora did her best to look innocent as she circled around the table, gesturing down at her body as she walked. After all, if you're attempting to convince the Chantry that the Inquisition is legitimate... perhaps it would be better to not have your Inquisitor arrive with a Witch of the Wilds by her side?" Coming to a stop beside Josephine, the blonde looped an arm around the smaller woman's waist before smiling down at her. "I think it would be better for all of us if I stayed behind on this one. Perhaps... spent my time with the Lady Montilyet, getting to know this world a bit better?"

Why did the blonde's words make Josephine feel so nervous?

Why was Janet smirking at her like that?

* * *

Janet hummed to herself softly as she skipped through the darkened alleys of Val Royeaux on her way to some sort of mysterious and undoubtedly exciting clandestine meeting. So far, her visit to the city had been a bit of a mixed bag. Unsurprisingly, she'd been unable to sway Revered Mother Hevara's mind when it came to either the Inquisition as a whole or Janet's role within it. But in a considerably more bewildering turn of events, Cassandra's superior had summarily dismissed her before going on to declare the Templar Order independent from the Chantry, withdrawing the Templars to parts unknown and abandoning his obligation to protect Val Royeaux completely.

Things weren't entirely a wash, though. She'd met a lovely Orlesian merchant named Belle who had volunteered to help supply the Inquisition with food and other necessities, and spoken with Grand Enchanter Fiona about a possible alliance with the rebel mages of Ferelden. That was in addition to the invitation that Janet had received to attend the 'salon' of someone called First Enchanter Vivienne... and the message received by arrow that had sparked her current adventure. Personally, Janet was hoping to find a strapping warrior type of some sort waiting for her at her destination. Cassandra was cute and all, but so very uninteresting.

Pushing open the pair of large blue doors that led to her destination, Janet recoiled backward just in time to avoid taking a fireball to the face, instinctively reducing her size until her wings emerged so that she could do a graceful backflip over the followup attack. "Herald of Andraste! How much did you expend to discover me? It must have weakened the Inquisition immeasurably."

Wow. Josephine had warned her that Orlesian nobles tended to be a snobby, self-centered, egotistical bunch, but this was so much worse than Janet had expected. Especially given that despite his posturing... "I have absolutely no idea who you are."

"You don't fool me. I'm too important for this to be an accident." The mage continued to strut back and forth as he postured; despite all the words coming out of his mouth, Janet was still no closer to figuring out who this man was or why he thought he would matter to her. And based on his behavior, he hadn't been the one to invite her here... so who had? "My efforts will survive in victories against you elsewhere."

Before Janet could repeat her ignorance for a second time, there was the twang of a bow firing and the blue-clad guard off to the left let out a shout before collapsing to the ground. From out behind him stepped a young blonde woman in a red tunic and a truly hideous pair of yellow plaid pants. Nocking another arrow, she grinned mischievously at the nameless man. "Just say what."

"What is the- URK!"

As the obnoxious man went down with a bad case of arrow to the face, Janet broke into peels of laughter. "Oh my God, that was hilarious! Finally, someone else around here who appreciates both quips and shooting people in the face with arrows. I have no idea who you are or what you want, but if you want to join the Inquisition? You're in. I need more of this in my life."

"That's what I'm here for, yeah. And hey, you followed the notes well enough so at least my new boss isn't thick. Good to know." Bending down, the blonde roughly yanked the arrow out of the man's face, shaking it a few times before returning it to her quiver and straightening up in front of Janet. "...and you're an elf. Well. Hope you're not too... elfy?"

The question elicited twin snorts from both Cassandra and Loki, the latter shaking her head in amusement as she stepped up beside Janet. Raising one hand, she unleashed a blast of icy magic that raised goosepimples along Janet's bare shoulders as the Asgardian froze the corpse and then used another pulse of magic to reduce it to a fine powdery coating of snow on the pavers. "I can assure you, elf, that Janet is most definitely the least 'elfy' person you will ever meet."

Wait, what? The woman who didn't want her to be 'too elfy' was a... Janet cocked her head and leaned to one side, arching an eyebrow as she spotted the pointed ear poking out of the blonde's choppy pixie cut. Huh. She'd heard that city elves and Dalish elves had their differences, but it was different to experience it in person. Especially given that she wasn't even Dalish. But before she could voice her thoughts on either the blonde's statement or Loki's rebuttal, the archer's eyes went wide. Stepping forward, she licked her lips slowly as she looked Loki up and down. "...woof. Well, if I wasn't looking to join up before, I certainly am now."

As a throaty laugh bubbled up out of Loki, the Asgardian extending a hand that her new admirer planted a kiss on the back of, Janet scowled and crossed her arms over her chest. Well that was just great. Amora was flirting with the cute ambassador and now her newest teammate had the hots for Loki. When the hell was she going to unlock a romance option?


End file.
